Fortune Cookies

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I didn’t know what else to call the items on this page. Quotable Quotes? Noteable Notes? Something else?

So I decided to just call ’em “Fortune Cookies,” and be done with it. Anyway, whatever they’re called, here are ten of ’em, randomly chosen just for you…


"An optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds - the pessimist fears this is true."
    — James Branch Cabell


"Man invented language to satisfy his need to complain."
    — Lily Tomlin


Very funny, Scotty. Now beam my clothes down too.


"I find that a great part of the information I have was acquired by looking up something and finding something else on the way."
    — Franklin P. Adams


"A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized."
    — Fred Allen


“Where a calculator on the ENIAC is equpped with 18,000 vaccuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers in the future may have only 1,000 vaccuum tubes and perhaps weigh 1 1/2 tons.”
    — Popular Mechanics, March 1949


"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set I go into the other room and read a book."
    — Groucho Marx


“...Yes, the lectures are optional. Graduation is also optional.”
    — Professor Brian Quinn


"We hope that, when the insects take over the world, they will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics."
    — Bill Vaughan


"Do you realize the responsibility I carry? I'm the only person standing between Nixon and the White House."
    — John F. Kennedy (1960)