Fortune Cookies

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I didn’t know what else to call the items on this page. Quotable Quotes? Noteable Notes? Something else?

So I decided to just call ’em “Fortune Cookies,” and be done with it. Anyway, whatever they’re called, here are ten of ’em, randomly chosen just for you…

    — headline from the Orlando (Florida) Sentinel

"That was Benes' fifth strikeout of the day. He came in with 94, so now he has 104 strikeouts for the year."
    — sportscaster Ralph Kiner

"The income tax has made more liars out of American people than golf has."
    — Will Rogers

Sign seen in a Rome laundry:
    “Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon
      having a good time.”

Reality is for those who can't face Science Fiction.

"No matter what side of an argument you're on, you always find some people on your side that you wish were on the other side."
    — Jascha Heifetz

"Jerry died broke. We only have a few hundred thousand dollars in the bank."
    — Debora Koons Garcia, widow of The Grateful Dead's Jerry Garcia

"... Man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much... the wheel, New York, wars, and so on, whilst all the dolphins had ever donw was much about in the water having a good time. But conversely the dolphins believed themselves to be more intelligent than man for precisely the same reasons."
    — The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Tom Seaver: “What time is it?”
Yogi Berra: “You mean now?”

You canít have everything. Where would you put it?