Fortune Cookies

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I didn’t know what else to call the items on this page. Quotable Quotes? Noteable Notes? Something else?

So I decided to just call ’em “Fortune Cookies,” and be done with it. Anyway, whatever they’re called, here are ten of ’em, randomly chosen just for you…

    — headline from the Washington Post

"Don't talk about yourself; that will be done when you leave."
    — Wilson Mizner

This house is owned and operated solely for the comfort and convenience of the cats.

"If you get up early, work late, and pay your taxes, you will get ahead - if you strike oil."
    — J. Paul Getty

"Some people can stay longer in an hour than others can in a week."
    — William Dean Howells

"We lived for days on nothing but food and water."
    — W.C. Fields

Sign seen at a Bangkok dry-cleaners:
“Drop your trousers here for best results.”

"Never lend books, for no one ever returns them. The only books I have in my library are those that other folks have lent me."
    — Anatole France

"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set I go into the other room and read a book."
    — Groucho Marx

"A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice."
    — Ed Howe